Time to Say Goodbye

…to the weekly Breastfeeding Blog Hop. This week, the blog hop topic is “Passing the Torch”, and it comes at an appropriate time for ‘lil Man and I. He’s moving on to “big kid” foods–O’s, goldfish, bananas, scrambled eggs. Now it’s time for Mama to fill a different role in his life. I have decided that my posts from the blog hop have been helpful and fun for me, but that I am not going to be an active participant on a week to week basis. It’s time to pass the torch on to other BFing mamas who have things to say. I’ll drop by from time to time, but it’s time to focus on other things that are more “immediate” in the ‘lil Burghers lives.

Thank you to all the mamas who have been involved in the Hop–you’ve been helpful to ‘lil Man and I, and I guarantee we would not have been successful without you.

Rules and #BFing

Today’s post is part of the Breastfeeding Blog Hop hosted by Life With Levi, The Slacker Mom, and Diary of a Devil Dog Wife and the topic is “Breastfeeding Rules”.

The one and only rule I lived by was “do what works for you and baby”, and I am so thankful. Sure, there were basic guidelines (like make sure he is gaining weight) that had to be followed; however, I really had to throw other rules to the side. There is no set schedule or place a baby wants to eat, you just have to go with it. So, heck with rules!

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I am glad I’ve had the opportunity this past year to feed ‘lil Man and share our journey with you. This evening, I tried to offer ‘lil Man one more shot, but he chose the bottle instead. We made it about eleven and a half months, so I think by any “rule”, this is a great feat. While I may not be as actively involved in the Hop as I have been, I will be making it a point to keep tabs on the prompts and chime in when I can. Who knows? Maybe one day we’ll be announcing that we’re going for the next ‘lil Burgher and I’ll be right back here with you Mamas. Happy #bfing!

Words of Encouragement #BFing #BlogHop

Today’s post is part of the Breastfeeding Blog Hop hosted by Life With Levi, The Slacker Mom, and Diary of a Devil Dog Wife and the topic is “Words of Encouragement”.

My journey of 11+ months of #BFing success would not have been as smooth had it not been for words and actions of encouragement. Here are some of my favorites.

Christmas Eve 2010 early in the morning (around 7:30 AM), I was at my lowest point in my journey (one week in, sore, tired, and wanting to give up). My cousin, an experienced Mama herself, dropped off muffins, a book about babies, lanolin, and a “you got this” message. It meant the world to me.

A friend, who had just given birth to her own nursling, opened her nursery for me one evening after work when I was rushing from one thing to the next. I was able to pump in peace and comfort and still balance my life.

The strangers who nursed beside me while ‘lil Man napped at Kennywood. Their strength and courage as Mamas was powerful.

The truck driver on our drive up 79. I am sure he caught a glimpse of what I was doing, but he wasn’t fazed by it.

A cousin’s boyfriend who joked, asking if one side was chocolate. It was funny, but it set the mood that what I was doing was welcome and ok.

The aunt who asked me to help her daughter and boyfriend with a breast pump conversation.

My husband, who dutifully measures out frozen milk even today and makes sure ‘lil Man gets what he needs. A constant source of strength and understanding. To have him in my life, I am so lucky.

Twitter friends and Breastfeeding Blog Hop Mamas who proudly share latching stories, the ups and downs of life as a nursing mama. When one of us is up late at night, there is sure to be another.

The mothers who pump exclusively—because they know it is what is best. It cannot be very convenient, but it gives me strength.

My daughter, who nursed her baby dolls. My mother and mother in law who both set the way.

All the Mamas at the “Latch On at the Beach”—I was so proud to be part of this day in my old town.

And for those of you needing encouragement? Here are my words. You got this. You really can do this if you put your mind to it. This is an amazing time for you and your child. While I may be at the very end of my time as a nursing mama, I am here.

Thanks to all who’ve been supportive along the way. It really helps get through the times of criticism, pain, and even embarassment. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Handling Criticism (#BFing-style)

Today’s post is part of the Breastfeeding Blog Hop hosted by Life With Levi, The Slacker Mom, and Diary of a Devil Dog Wife and the topic is “Handling Criticism”.

It’s no secret, this Mama wears her heart on her sleeve. My emotions are not hard to hide. I am passionate and deeply loyal, and if anyone steps on my toes, they hear about it–whether through tears or anger or, well, a blog post (passive aggressive much?).

When breastfeeing ‘lil Miss A, I am sure I was a bit more discreet than I was with ‘lil Man (read: nursing in my bedroom versus under a nursing shirt/cover). Mr. Burgher claims he didn’t even realize I was feeding her (maybe I was just ninja), even in the hospital. I guess that’s a good thing. With ‘lil Man, it just wasn’t practical (he was an eater) and I realized times have are changing, people are becoming more respectful of the mother’s need to feed her child.

But, that doesn’t mean I fed him without criticism. I had several days in my life when I thought there were people I was never going to be able to speak to again because they were angered by my nursing in public. It was not easy. I shed many tears. I sent many texts to my friends, hoping someone would understand.

Criticism of a woman doing something that God intended for her to do for her child is not easy to swallow. My experience involved anger, hurt feelings, and many tears…but it made me a stronger person. I learned that there are limits–times and places were nursing is (and is not) ok. Criticism from people close to me prepared me for the looks, glares, and sighs from public who really don’t understand.

As a mother, I’ve also come to realize day to day life will not go without criticism. I was criticized as a single mother by people who didn’t (and may never) understand my past and the things that led to me being a single mother. I was criticized by people because I wouldn’t let my daughter have milk (uh…she’s allergic!) and just “see what happens”. I was criticized because I wanted to have a VBAC (even though it didn’t happen in the end). I was criticized because I chose to marry someone of mixed race…and oh so soon after we started dating. In the end, what does it matter? The only person who is really going to judge me is God, and as long as we are right, then that’s what matters.

I just hope that the way I’ve handled criticism can serve as a good model for my kids.

How do you handle criticism of any kind? Please share!

Will We Last Through? #BFing

Well, I am proud to announce that today is ‘lil Man’s 11 month birthday and we have made it through with a daily feed or two. Today’s Breastfeeding Blog Hop (hosted by Life With Levi, The Slacker Mom, and Diary of a Devil Dog Wife is about Holiday Survival–what concerns are there for getting through the holidays as a #BFing mom. My biggest concern is whether or not we will last through the ‘lil Man’s 1st birthday and Christmas.

As I’ve mentioned before, we have been down to 1-2 feedings a month and no more pumping. ‘lil Man is staying with my parents for two days, and I have no plans to pump while he is away. If our time together is done…I think I am ok with that, although it sure would be nice to make it through the holidays and get our “1 Year” #MomBadge.

Sadly, I had a taste of what it would be like to not feed ‘lil Man the other day. He flat out refused to nurse. I think it’s because Mr. Burgher keeps this amazing little “Bag of Magic” in our room at night for the middle of the night feedings.

The cooler comes in handy–no running down the stairs while ‘lil Man screams. We’ve never had a problem with having to heat bottles, thank goodness!

He had ate about an hour before, so had a full tummy, but I took it as he just didn’t want anything to do with me. I went to get dressed, and I saw this hanging in my closet:

What a stinkin’ sign, huh? It jabbed me a little…I took the picture then had to shed a few tears. Luckily, ‘lil Man was more than ready for his nighttime feed when I put him to sleep.

Hopefully we’ll have good news to report in a month!

If I Had a Do-Over

In this week’s Breastfeeding Blog Hop prompted by Life With Levi, us Mamas are talking about what we would have done differently.

If I had a do-over with ‘lil Miss A, I don’t think I would have done anything differently. Sure, there were options I could have taken…like going non-dairy; however, I had NO clue how many other food allergies and aversions she would end up having (explaining my pregnancy weight loss and constant sickness with her). So, basically, I feel like even if I had gone non-dairy, it would not have been enough. Formula was expensive, and I wasn’t exactly ballin’, but it was the right thing to do at that time. Besides, I would not have been able to pump at work (I was a teacher with a “break” for 40 minutes a day while we had meetings or prepped for the rest of the day), and I wasn’t able to be with her enough with my commute to make it really worth it.

If I had a do-over with ‘lil Man, I think I wouldn’t be so darn hard on myself. We made it through 6 months without formula–including 8 days of me being away–and kept him gaining enough weight to make the doctors happy (‘lil Man is constantly considered “underweight” but gaining). When I started to have vertigo issues, my supply went down drastically and I beat myself up over not getting enough and having to give in to the formula. Today, we are down to 1 or 2 feedings a day (depending on how we both feel), but we’re both happy and bonded. There was nothing wrong with having to give him formula (especially since we made it almost 9 months before he was having over 50% formula a day).

If I have a chance to do it again, I am going to do it to the best of my ability and give it my all.

#bfing Check In

Breastfeeding Blog Hop Mamas, have you missed me? ‘Lil Man and I are still here, fighting it out. We’ve made it to 10 months, but he is mostly switched over to formula. I’ve really been struggling with my supply and really have barely enough to satisfy his growing boy self.

Gotta be honest, I am glad I’ve been able to retire the pump. Even though I no longer pump religiously at work, I still keep it with me and keep a hold on my calendar if I need to go to the Mother’s Room. The other day, I even skipped wearing my nursing pads, saw ‘Lil Man mid-day and ::surprise:: had no mishaps of leakage. The pump travels home on weekends just in case he goes to stay with my parents and I can squeak out a ‘lil extra for him.

But on the flip side of my honesty, I am sad. I do not look forward to our last nursing session, and I really hope he still needs me once or twice a day up to the year mark. There really is nothing better than being all snuggly with a hungry baby, and I am not ready to let go.

Thank goodness ‘lil Man is free of milk allergies (unlike his sister) and that his Daddy couponed for formula. Our stockpile is going to last us through his first birthday, so no worries there. It just saddens me that the icky smelling goo of formula is now what is his life blood.

Hopefully we’ll keep checking in with you Mamas. You’ve all been a great support system. Thank you, @lifewithlevi for being such a gracious host of this hop!

xoxo,
Mrs. Burgher

Finding Our Spot (#BFing at the Amusement Park)

A few weeks ago when we went to our local amusement park, Kennywood, I knew at some point I would need to feed ‘lil Man. For me, the solution was simple…I’d wear a flexible top and tuck him into the Moby Wrap, find somewhere secluded, and get to work.

But, as you know, babies feed when they want to, not when we find it convenient. There we were, smack dab in the middle of the Kiddieland area. My old faithful, the Mother Goose house, had been torn down and replaced with a bathroom/semi-healthy food kiosk.

I had really hoped I could go in the house, find a rocker, and enjoy a memory. Alas, this was no longer an option, so I was just going to feed him right out in the middle under a tree.

By the time I got him wrapped up, he fell asleep:

Two other mamas sat down on either side of us and nursed their nurslings, which was a pretty cool moment–none of us realized that there was still a place to nurse! When we got on the train, I realized that there is a new spot at the back of that replacement building that is for nursing mothers (and a statement on their website, “Our Kiddieland area provides parents with a quiet area to feed and nurse young children. The rest room also includes a diaper changing station.”–helps if you read ahead, huh?). Oh well, we did what we had to do and didn’t get any flack for it–glad society is becoming more accepting day by day!

(Excuse the focus–I realized almost too late that this existed!!!)

A Crash Course in Pumping

This post is to help my friend Mrs. Ski prepare for her return to work post baby while nursing. My experience hasn’t been perfect in anyway, but I hope I can shed some light on the subject of Pumping at Work. I’ve wrote a little bit about this before, but here are a few more memories.

After 7 months back to work post ‘Lil Man’s birth and maternity leave, I feel like I finally have this pumping thing down. Reality is, it is just about done, and I am pretty much ready. Pumping at work (our anywhere) is a pain to me. I would so much rather be at home, snuggled up on my chair with ‘Lil Man than in an office chair hooked up to my Pump in Style. Alas, there are lessons I have learned in my journey from pumping in a locked office to having a room dedicated to pumpin’ mamas…things I wish I had known.

1. Be prepared to find a place to pump–and don’t be shy about talking to your boss about it. It’s legal according to the US Department of Labor, and you shouldn’t feel guilty. Your boss also shouldn’t make you feel like you are not giving your all to your job. If this is an uncomfortable conversation, go to HR (or a fellow Mama who has done it before). You are not alone.

2. When you find that place, make yourself comfortable and make sure the door is locked. When I first started pumping, I kept scooting my chair against the door and balancing my laptop on my knees (praying the door would remain locked). Eventually, I got comfortable enough to trust the lock. It also helps to know who else has keys to your space and if you are sharing a space, work out time with the fellow Mama (or be prepared to throw down a pumping party). When my office opened up the Mother’s Room, I asked a friend to push on the door and handle to make sure no one could bust in–this put me at ease.

3. Put your pump times on your schedule–and stick to it as much as possible. I started with 2 20-30 minute sessions, and skipped them sometimes. This lead to some bad infections and a quickly depleting supply. Be honest when you really need your break–this will help prevent leakage and ensure you get plenty of milk for the cutie at home (or daycare). If you are in an all afternoon meeting, simply excuse yourself for a “bio-break” and catch up when you get back. You won’t be sorry.

4. If your space doesn’t have signage, you might want to think about it. Our office admins made this nifty sliding sign so that it helps with the locked door fear and allows people to know it is occupied. You can always do a door hanger.

5. Don’t fear carrying the pump bag. Sure, it looks like you are bringing your whole house with you, but it also symbolizes your super power. A funny story…a cousin had a co-worker help her carry her items in and they put the bag in with our overhead projectors. Imagine the look on someone’s face if it hadn’t been discovered quickly! 🙂

6. Have somewhere to keep your milk cold. My Pump in Style came with a little cooler and an ice pack perfectly shaped to keep 4 bottles cold. Perfect. I don’t really trust the old food in our fridge enough to put my milk in there, too, but it’s always an option if I forget my ice.

7. Be prepared with supplies. You probably want to make sure you have lanolin, Lecithin Supplements (a recent discovery that REALLY helps with warding off the infections, bags (in case you start pumping like a cow), wipes (in case your space doesn’t have a sink), extra membranes (those little guys can tear easily), a battery pack (if there isn’t power…plus extra batteries), and of course, a picture of your little cutie!

8. Be prepared to pump on a work trip (via car or plane…it always can lead to a fun memory). You just find a way to make it work.

9. If you need support, check out The Milk Memos. It is a collection of IBM pumping mamas’ journals and an excellent read…and perhaps might inspire you to collect your thoughts about being a working/pumping mama.

10. Know it’s not easy, but worth it. The look on your baby’s face when you get home from work is one of true love and a heart melter. There are plenty of other mamas who have been there, done that, and are willing to lend an ear. Go with strength and courage!

Oh…and before you leave your space, triple check that you’ve ditched the PumpEase…unless you want to step out looking like this:

He Doesn’t Need Me (At Night)

This week’s post is part of the Life With Levi Breastfeeding Blog Hop. Today’s topic is “Night Weaning”.

The ‘Lil Burghers, we like our sleep. All of us. Even when we are causing our schedule to be out of whack, we all are guilty of loving sleep.

I am going to get hate mail for this, I am sure, but I’ve really lucked out. Lil Man had his moments hours of being awake at night the first three weeks. I can’t blame him. We were holding him, loving him, and getting to know him. He just wanted to be the constant life of the party. Eventually, after Mr. Burgher’s family went back home, the New Year arrived, and the Christmas tree was down, we settled into a schedule. A schedule that meant at about three weeks, Lil Man was sleeping through the night. We are talking out by 10 or 11 and then down until 7 or 8.

So for me, night weaning never really was an issue. For a few weeks, I would wake and quickly pump (I had work to prepare for), but eventually I tired of that and just got my rest, too. Even now, when Lil Man is ready to be up and at ’em in the middle of the night, it’s not an issue. It’s like we just know how to function together. I guess you can say we’re lucky.