Today I am conquering another prompt from The Mom Pledge Blog. It’s been one I’ve been meaning to write about for awhile, so I am glad to finally get to share with you.
The Prompt: “There is no one, “right” way to be a good Mom. Each woman makes the choices best for her family.” Is this difficult or easy for you to accept? Why? Has taking The Mom Pledge changed how you view the choices of other moms?
The Response: One of the reasons I took the Mom Pledge is because I firmly believe that there is no specific, golden, right way to parent, provided you step up to your responsibility of being a parent (as long as that is your calling in life–there really are some people who cannot parent, and they are aware of that).
I’ve been thinking about a post about things you can and cannot do as a parent, but every time I sat down to try to write it, I thought about how it would go against taking The Mom Pledge. I wasn’t going to call someone out for “bad” parenting, but I realized that it might offend some parents who for them, the way they parent IS the right way.
First, is it easy to accept that there is no “right” way to parent? For me, I know that I am parenting the right way for my family. I also know that other parents have to do what they have to do for their family. We may not always agree on what is right, but it’s what’s right for each family. True story.
Take diapering. For us, cloth diapering is just not the way to go, but it doesn’t mean that we are anti-cloth. Frankly, I wanted to give it a shot, but really, the choice needs to be up to the primary caregiver. Mr. Burgher would be that person. While he is a SAHD, he is in no way laid back and free to bake brownies for all the neighborhood children. There is a 2 1/2 year old to keep busy, an almost 6 month old who is teething and trying out new fruits and veggies, laundry, food prep, a dog, a pool, and coupon collection and organization. With two in diapers for most of the past 6 months, it just wasn’t logical for us. It’s “right” for us to go with disposables.
Or take breastfeeding. For us, with Lil Man, it is what is right and works for us. He really took to it, but his sister was a different story. Both of our children gave us different way to do the “right” thing as parents. But, for some mothers, they just know their limits and know that breastfeeding won’t work for them. While I can advocate at least trying, those mothers know what is “right” for them!
It all really boils down to personal preference, and since I’ve always like to do things “My Way”, it’s pretty easy for me to accept that there is no “right” way to parent. The Mom Pledge helps me affirm this and makes me think once, twice, even three times before reacting to the decision of another mom or dad.
What do you think? Should we all follow a book that tells us how to parent or go with our gut?